New Hanover Advice Office

tel: 033 502 0132

newhanover@ccjd.org.za

Gender-Based Violence Support Groups

New Hanover Advice Office is currently conducting six support groups a month with women affected by gender-based violence. These are either clients that the office has attended to, or friends that clients have invited.

Meetings are made up of about fifteen women, and the group is small enough so that each person has time to tell their story. In time they open up and speak freely. They share their story with people who have had a similar experience, who understand the pain they feel and do not judge harshly, and receive comfort and advice.

Staff of New Hanover Advice Office Zandile Khanyile and Thabisile Miya

At first, some women are reluctant to talk about their experiences, especially if they see their neighbours there. Most blame themselves and have little self-confidence. They feel guilty and worthless. Staff explain to them that whatever is shared at these meetings is confidential.

The advice office staff explain the cycle of abuse and how it often starts with small things like verbal insults and jealousy, and participants give eachother advice about the first signs of abuse, such as how to spot an abuser.

Staff advise participants not to lapse back into an abusive relationship because of financial dependency, and to be careful of the promises that abusers make, when they apologise and promise not to repeat their behaviour. The meetings discuss the financial and social pressures on women to endure abuse without reporting it. Staff and participants encourage eachother to overcome these and to speak out.

With time participants come to understand that they are not alone and that it is possible to overcome their problems. They need help and encouragement to break away from the effects of abuse and the influence of the abuser. Through the meetings they come to understand that it was not their fault that their partner had abused them. They laugh and cry together, make new friends and help eachother to rebuild their confidence.

The support groups take place each month and will run until at least 2022. They are made possible by The 1st for Women Foundation, which funds New Hanover Advice Office. The Foundation aims to uplift and empower the women of South Africa, and focuses on the prevention and reduction of gender-based violence. It has supported CCJD since 2012.